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You asked me to post some asian sex site reviews on Free Asian Twat so here I go with my first review of an asian sex site: Oriental Orgy, one of the best asian sex sites I've seen in years.

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Here's a piece of adult humour, a clasic sex joke about the chinese ways: The Three Worst Chinese Tortures. Hope you'll start the new year with a good laugh!

Once upon a time a starving man was walking in the middle of a Chinese forest when he stumbled upon a huge mansion. It was close to nightfall and he had no where to stay, no food, and nothing to make camp; so he walked up to the mansion and rang the doorbell. A very ancient chinese man with a long beard brushing the floor answered the loud, clanging gong. The starving man begged for a place of shelter, and the old chinese pittied him and let him stay. At dinner the old man introduced our traveler to his daughter, Naomi ("I moan" backwards ). She was the meaning of beauty so the traveler instantly fell for her - mostly because he hadn't done it in a while, due to his disposition of starving and homeless in a forest. - ANYWAY - The old man saw him eyeing his daughter and said to him, "If you touch my daughter, I will subject to you the three worst Chinese tortures."

That night the man snuck out of his room and into Naomi's. Having been cooped up in this old mansion for so long, she had no objections at all.

In the morning he woke up, and after 10 minutes decided that something heavy was on his chest stopping him from breathing properly. He opened his eyes to find a 50 kilo rock on his chest with sign on it that said "First Chinese Torture: 50 kilo rock on chest." Thinking that it wasn't that heavy he picked it up and threw it out the window. As the rock fell out the window he noticed a sign on the bottom that said "Second Chinese Torture: Rock tied to right testicle." In a panic he jumped out the window, what man wouldn't? Unfortunately he looked up and saw the sign on the bottom of the window sill "Third Chinese Torture: left testicle tied to bed post."

If you like this sex joke, just let me know and I'll post more adult humour, ok?

It seems that you pretty much liked the first part of "Singapore Girl" - the free erotic story courtesy of Asia Porno that I posted a while back. Since you asked for more, here I go with part #2 of this free erotic story. The guy that tolds it, has the first sexual encounter with June, the hot Singapore girl.

"... June occupied the entire third and fourth floors of a brownstone on Greenwich Avenue, not far from Tenth Street. In the sitting room on the fourth floor, over white wine on wall-lining sectionals, listening to some soft rock, she explained that she was the New York office of a Scandinavian import-export firm. About half of the third floor was offices - she had her teletype and phones and files there - and the rest of the third floor was a formal dining/conference room, a half-bath and a kitchen. The fourth floor, in addition to the living room, had a television room, a bedroom and a full bathroom.

We got more at ease with each other. I learned she was ethnic Chinese, from Singapore, and had lived in Connecticut when she first came to the United States. Before that, she'd lived in Scandinavia for a few years, trying to improve her position with the ex-im firm she'd joined in Singapore. I learned a little bit about how tough it was to be new to America and alone, even with the advantages of a legitimate working visa and deep-pocketed financial backing.

Soon we were snuggled together under a blanket on the sectional - as with all Village apartments, the heat was inadequate; I think it's a law in New York - and then we were cuddling and then we were kissing. Her lips were as warm and moist as I'd imagined, and her kisses were just the right combination of passion and sweetness. Soon, she was straddling my thigh as we clinched and I could feel her moisture through her jeans and mine. I unbuttoned her blouse and mouthed her breasts through her bra. She was decidedly Chinese in that her tits were shallow and firm, with nipples that responded slowly - but when they did, they were outstanding! I raised the bra to get at her bared breasts and she ran her hands through my hair as I licked and sucked at her tits.

"Let's go to bed," she said. "Here, since I have to send a Telex at four-thirty this morning." Forthright and businesslike, op. cit.

I agreed - of course! - but little did I suspect what would come next: June proceeded to prepare for bed as if she'd known me fore years. You probably know the routine: remove the make-up, take a shower (in her case, a shallow bath), etc. I was somewhat at a loss for what to do, so I hung around and watched it. All of it. (Well, almost all; even June didn't want to be watched doing Some Things.) As the make-up came off, so did the determined businesswoman face. She looked younger than her twenty-eight years; maybe twenty or twenty-one.

But believe me, when she came to bed, it was worth the wait. She came into the bedroom wearing a robe and a flannel nightgown. (Remember: no heat.)

"Why are you dressed?" she asked, and quickly removed the robe - and only the robe - and slipped into the bed. She threw back the coverlet, comforter and sheet to expose half of the (queen-size) bed and patted the pillow. "Come on - or did you change your mind?" ..."

.. to be continued

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Here a free sex story, Singapore Girl, courtesy of Asia Porno. This is the true story of a guy that falls in love with a hot Singapore girl. I'll post more of it in the future so hang around. (hint: bookmark Free Asian Twat so you can check back easily for updates)

"They say a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell. But I can't claim to be a gentleman. Besides, all bets are off when the woman... But that comes later.

And yes, this is a true story. Really happened. Only her name has been changed. Not to protect her - she did not need protection - but to keep my ass out of court.

I met June (not her real name) in a Laundromat in the Village. I had seen her there a few times and couldn't help noticing. For one thing, she was female and most of the clientele was male and gay. June was decidedly female. She was only about five feet tall, with jet black hair in a pageboy cut framing a rounded, pretty asian face. Her black eyes, behind her eyeglasses, were wide for an oriental and if there was a fault to her face, it was that her lips were a bit too generous and lush. Some fault, huh?

One day, June just asked me for help with one of the dryers. I've got a knack for mechanical things (heh!) and I was glad to have a way to get closer to her. She was wearing a light windbreaker, half-unzipped, over a loose white blouse and a pair of spray-on jeans. Her boots were a half-heel style that wasn't flat and wasn't high-spiked. She had a cute ass, but the way she carried herself, for all her perkiness and cuteness, wasn't inviting; businesslike.

I jimmied the dryer and told her that I'd seen her there a few times.

"I've seen you, too!" she said, forthrightly. June was, I would learn, very forthright in almost every way. "And I've had trouble with these machines before." She slapped the dryer and laughed. She had a great laugh.

I asked why she hadn't asked my help before.

"I see how well you get along with the gay boys, I thought you were gay too."

"By that logic, if you see me getting along with a Puerto Rican, you should think I'm Puerto Rican."

She laughed again. As I said, a great laugh.

In the course of conversing, between the two of us, we found some excuse for me to come back to her place for drinks. I arrived at ten p.m., hoping - for she had a gorgeous ass..."

...to be continued

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